Tuesday, September 11, 2012

HERE COMES THE DEVIL: Movie's Creepiest Kids

There's nothing more terrifying than a movie featuring creepy kids. We're not sure about you, but Camp Rock certainly gave us nightmares. And what about that giant mega-baby from Honey, I Blew Up the Kid? We're shuddering at the thought. (Or maybe that's more because of Rick Moranis…) Scary movies featuring creepy kids have been responsible for people reconsidering the desire to procreate for decades now. Do you really want a baby if there's a chance it could be possessed by a demon? Hm, maybe you really are just better off with a couple of cats--just in case.

To add to the list, Here Comes The Devil at this years Toronto International Film Festival is another tale of child terror. After their children disappear on vacation in Tijuana, they mysteriously reappear again. But something terrible has happened to them. (Excuse us while we go cower in the corner.) And just in case you haven't met your daily quota of creepiness yet, here's five more of movie's creepiest kids we could find (spoilers, probably): 

1. The brood from The Brood (1979)
Listen, anything called "the brood" is bound to be terrifying, but when you've got David Cronenberg behind it, it's probably a good time to go hide in the closet. The brood is not quite human, and not quite, uh, not-human, but it's 100% going to eff things up. And by that, we mean it's going to kill you. In matching jump suits.

Yes, this picture is from the remake. They are still scary, damned kids.

2. The children from Village of the Damned (1960)
The Village of the Damned starts off normal enough: the females in a tiny village all of the sudden find themselves pregnant after a strange unexplainable town-wide nap. What? Not this old plot line again, jeez. Once the babies are born, it's clear that something more than unprotected sex is afoot: they grow really fast, have identical white-blonde hair and penetrating eyes, all dress the same, seem to know what everyone is thinking, and move in a pack. Sort of like the Plastics from Mean Girls, except evil. Like, "we're going to kill you evil", not "high school evil".

3. Gage from Pet Sematary (1989)
Pet Sematary is a warning to people everywhere about the importance of spelling, even at a young age. Oh, and also that if you bury something on an Indian burial ground, it will come back super evil. Cats, small children, probably toasters too: all evil. The Creed family learns this the hard way when their little boy, Gage, is killed in a tragic kite accident (a giant truck might have also been involved). Let's just say that when he comes back from the dead, he's more interested in playing with scalpels than toy trucks. 

4. Samara from The Ring (2002)
The Ring made us never want to watch a video tape ever again, and that's not just because we hate having to rewind them at the end. No, it's because of the terrifying girl who crawls out of the TV and kills whoever watched the video tape. Maybe she'd look less creepy if she pulled her hair back with a cute headband, but it's doubtful.  

5. Isaac, Malachai and the children from Children of the Corn (1984)
When children are left to their own devices, chances are they'll band together, form a cult, and kill all of the adults in town. At least, at the instruction of super disturbing Isaac and his lackey Malachai. He'll claim they're doing the work of "He Who Walks Behind The Rows", but who can trust a kid who wears a hat like that? 

Honourable Mention: The baby in Rosemary's Baby
Because technically this would count on the list of "movie's creepiest unborn fetuses", but there's no denying that this unborn baby is pure evil. Poor Rosemary; she just wanted to enjoy her new haircut and her swanky new apartment. Note to self: if eccentric neighbour offers a gift of tannis root, run far, far away. 

For more child related terror, don't forget to add Here Comes The Devil to your film list this festival; screening times are below: 

Tue., Sept. 11th, 6:00 PM BLOOR HOT DOCS CINEMA
Wed., Sept. 12th, 7:00 PM SCOTIABANK 3
Sun., Sept. 16th, 3:30 PM SCOTIABANK 4

And catch  COME OUT AND PLAY, the remake of the classic scary children movie, Who Can Kill A Child at Midnight Madness!

COME OUT AND PLAY screening times:
Thurs., Sept. 13th, 11:59 PM, RYERSON
Fri., Sept. 14th, 3:15 PM, CINEPLEX YONGE & DUNDAS 10
Sat., Sept. 15th, 6:45 PM, SCOTIABANK 11

[Author's Note: If you're reading this and know me, you're probably wondering to yourself, "Siân, you can barely get through an episode of American Horror Story without crying--how have you watched all of these films?" So, I must thank my friend, director James Lafleur, for helping me out with this post. He knows all the things about all the movies and helped me pick out all of the ones with the creepiest kids. If you were curious, his master list (AKA "The List of Movies Siân Will Never, Ever, Watch") is: Children of the Corn (1984), Village of the Damned (1960), The Bad Seed (1956), The Orphanage (2007), The Innocents (1961), The Other (1972), The Brood (1979), The Ring (2002), Pet Sematary (1989), Alice, Sweet Alice (1976), The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane (1976), Let the Right One In (2008)]

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