The 2015 Vanguard Mascot Battle Winner!

It's that time again. The time when the most coveted award in all of TIFF is up for the taking.

We are talking about, of course, Vanguard Mascot Battle, in which several people, insects, animals and even inanimate objects compete for the coveted title of Official Vanguard Blog Mascot.

We're coming at you all the way from England to announce the winner. Since the Giant Novelty Pencil from the Keswick Pencil Museum from Ben Wheatley's Sightseers (GNP for short) is from England, it only made sense for me to be here so I could pay tribute to GNP before passing the torch/crown/what was it again? to the new winner. Okay, fine, I moved here for realsies, which is why you didn't see me around on the Vanguard Blog much this year. I've been busy planning out my road trip to the Pencil Museum, and other British things. Sad news bears, most definitely, but not even an ocean could keep me away from the Vanguard Mascot Battle!

My steadfast blogging colleagues (blogeagues?) graciously allowed me to do the honours of announcing the final winner and I promise you it isn't a pencil or anything remotely British. Like Paddington Bear, because that would just be silly. I did seriously consider making it a marmalade sandwich, though.

So who's it going to be? That chicken is looking like he could easily take Joe Swanberg and Bruce McDonald's cowboy hat. Have you ever seen a chicken fight? Has anyone in this family ever seen a chicken? They fight mean, man.

Then again, we can't ignore the fact that Joe Swanberg is definitely more flexible than GNP and even had a burger named after him. Basically we all want to be Joe Swanberg, but is that enough to reclaim the title of Vanguard Mascot?

And Bruce McDonald's hat—we don't have to say anything else about that because it's Bruce McDonald's hat. Duh.

Unfortunately, as with most things in life, like Highlander, there can only be one. So without further ado, may we present to you this year's Vanguard Mascot Winner:


*drumroll please*

Mads Mikkelsen's Moustache! 

AKA the Madstache.

Maybe you're all like, "Huh?" But don't deny it: in this picture of the chicken, you found yourself strangely drawn to the Madstache. It's the allure of the Madstache. The essence of the Madstache. The power of the Madstache. That's just what it does.

That and beat out cowboy hats and chickens and Joe Swanberg for coveted titles! Wham, bam, thank-you ma'am. And the children rejoiced.

That's a wrap for this year! We're already eagerly anticipating who—or what—will de-throne this glorious Madstache next year. It's gonna be good. Joe Swanberg, you have a year to grow a mustache that rivals the Madstache. God speed.

Farewell for Now, Beloved Vanguard Blog Readers...

Welp, we thought if we just pretended like TIFF never ended we could keep living the Vanguard dream forever. Except it did. Two weeks ago. Wait, or is it three? You’re telling us it’s OCTOBER tomorrow?

Well, dang.

In any case, this was one of our best Vanguard years ever but we have a tendency to say that every year so it would be best to just start mentally preparing yourself for 2015 right now. We know we are.

All of our beautiful Vanguard babies have gone off in the world to other festivals and/or acquiring distribution and we could be more proud. Spring will be delighting even more audiences thanks to Drafthouse and Raven Banner. Shrew's Nest, Waste Land and Over Your Dead Body also played The Fantastic Fest. The Voices won two well deserved awards at l'Etrange Festival. Hyena will be distributed in North America by Tribeca Films. IFC Films scooped up Duke of Burgundy. Third World will be releasing The World of Kanako in 2015. Radius/The Weinstein Company will be bringing the terrifying children of Goodnight, Mommy to North America. Music Box picked up Alleluia for distribution and Media Luna will be distributing Luna (no relation).

So if you didn’t see these amazing films at TIFF (ugh, what a jabroni) you have a chance to redeem yourself during their theatrical releases. Just don’t mess it up this time, alright?

Until next year, beloved Vanguard Blog readers. Now, if you'll excuse us, we have something in our eyes. 

Fashions of Vanguard '14

We really need to get Evan from Spring some new clothes. 

We really need to get you some  new clothes.

Evan from Spring has just the one outfit and he wants to look nice for his new cthonically ancient special lady. We have some advice for him--and for you, if you want to look good red carping and at the Preëms, as the fanciest of festival-goers say. Fortunately, we have a variety of looks from the Vanguard programme films this year... and even a few from the Midnight Madness movies!

Ryan Reynolds suggests this inspirational shirt.

(Ryan Reynolds? Ryan Reynolds, man.)

There's always the elusive beauty of the semi-imaginary moth boy.

Pro tip: Wooden fingers are so hot this year!

  

Mesh tank tops and leather pants are back! (Not that they ever really went away…)

The fashionable lepidopterist always wears stocking and heels and sometimes hats, gloves, and capes, when the weather calls for it.

The gloves and capes make for a classic look. Of course, sometimes you might want something more classically mad science. Consider a long gown and bandages.

Or perhaps just a mask. Masks are very on trend this year.

The mud and touches of moss really bring the look together.

Or if you want your face to show, you can do a bold eye liner and a bold lip with a bearskin.

You can even try mixing a message t-shirt with an animal mask, bringing 3 looks together.

But with a full stag head, you might want to balance it with the vulnerability of nudity.

Speaking of balancing revealing skin with tantalizingly covering it up, Cal keeps his excellent penis sheathed in what appears to be a paisley thong.

But before you go full Seventies, just ask yourself, Does this mustache really express me?

It’s important for vampires to always look their best, even when vacuuming the flat.

And always be prepared for fashion mishaps. Uh oh, looks like Viago got blood on his dandy suit. Some soda water and paper towels should get those stains out.



Or you could simply change into this embroidered distressed denim jacket while your clothes are in the wash.

There are a few Fashion Don'ts however...

Creepy ex-boyfriends who give you sexually transmitted hauntings are a definite fashion no no.

When wearing blood, it’s important to blend and remember to never overdo it, Montse. Why not borrow some club soda and paper towels from Viago and tone it down a bit.

Best to make sure that dressmaker’s dummy you’re using isn’t one of Montse’s victims.

An Indiana Jones hat and double tiaras are great accessories for any discerning film fan, but only if you have Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead with you at all times.

Of course we know who the real fashion Peeps Choi Award Winner is...

He might not have won Vanguard Blog Mascot, but he won our hearts with his adorable boxing gloves.

We hope this helps, and remember to use fashion responsibly because fashion is danger. We've seen a lot of decapitations this year, and we don't want to see any more.

(Hell yeah, there's a mix of Vanguard and Midnight Madness films in this because we're Vanguarders and we do what we want. Also, we love the Midnighteers and Maniacs over at the Midnight Madness blog. Films included: Spring; The Voices; Luna; The Editor; What We Do In The Shadows; The Duke of Burgundy; Goodnight, Mommy; Cub; They Have Escaped; Tusk; It Follows; and Shrew's Nest. Special thanks to the Tusk fans and Peter Kuplowsky for being good sports).

OVER YOUR DEAD BODY: TIFF Twitter Buzz!

You may regret skipping this movie. Just sayin'. 

For the past few days, acclaimed director Takashi Miike has been giving moviegoers a ride of their lives at screenings of Over Your Dead Body. Part play, part revenge story, all sorts of WTF, this is one film that'll have people talking after. If you want to join in the conversation, you have one last chance to catch this film on Saturday evening. Oh, how perfect. You were looking to something to do together with you date. What could be more perfect than this movie?! RIGHT?! Aha. Check out the Twitter buzz and screening time below.

OVER YOUR DEAD BODY screening time:
Sat., Sept. 13th, 6:30 PM, TIFF BELL LIGHTBOX 2

THEY HAVE ESCAPED: Last Chance!

Filmmaker JP Valkeapää has been impressing audiences at this Festival with his unique and unexpected take at a "troubled youth" film. Joni and Raisa's impromptu, drug-fueled, animal skin wearing romp through Finland is definitely worth a watch and luckily you've got one last chance. Use it wisely!  

Nicholas Bell of Ion Cinema had this to say about They Have Escaped: 

"...JP Valkeapää has created an unnerving and unexpectedly off kilter teen romance that goes down a road less traveled. Throughout what seems a prolonged set-up, a variety of interactions with various institutions inevitably result in escalating instances of two teens engaging in petty crime due to cold shoulders, apathetic adults, and uncompromising rulebooks. We’re lulled into a sense of security as to where the journey’s taking us until a late switch up severely alters the tone of the film to upsetting effect. 

As Joni, Teppo Manner gives a very mild mannered and expressive performance, his interactions requiring little to no dialogue. Roosa Soderholm’s Raissa is a bit more expressive, a blonde punk resembling Fairuza Balk dressed up as Debbie Harry for Halloween. By the time we leave them behind, ending with an ambiguity that will only leave you further disjointed, you’ll realize Valkeapaa has managed to burrow deeply into your skin."

They Have Escaped is screening at the 2014 Toronto International Film Festival as part of the Vanguard Programme. Check out more Vanguard films on the official Festival website.

THEY HAVE ESCAPED screening time:

Saturday, Sept 13, 10:00 PM SCOTIABANK 8

GOODNIGHT MOMMY: TIFF Twitter Buzz!

It's, uh, a fun-time family film. We promise. 

If you've missed out on your chance to be completely shocked and literally on the edge of your seat (or maybe hiding under it) at a screening of Goodnight Mommy, you've got one more chance! ONE MORE CHANCE. It may be in the middle of the day on a Friday but that's okay because you can just call in sick to work. And maybe after seeing this film you'll feel a little sick to your stomach anyway so it won't really be a lie, right? Check out what Twitter has been saying about this tension-filled horror story (twins, need we say more *shudder*) including a really exciting announcement from Radius at the end!

Goodnight Mommy is screening at the 2014 Toronto International Film Festival as part of the Vanguard Programme. Check out more Vanguard films on the official Festival website.

GOODNIGHT MOMMY screening times:
Friday, Sept 12th, 3:00 PM THE BLOOR HOT DOCS CINEMA

THE VOICES: More Dark Comedies!

"You picked the movie last night, Mr Whiskers. I want to watch a romantic comedy." 

If you’ve been paying attention to the Vanguard blog lately, we’ve been going on and on about how The Voices is one of the darkest comedies of the year; maybe even of ever. If you haven’t been paying attention, um, where have you been? Excuse you. EXCUSE YOU. Anyway, to keep this awesome dark comedy ball rolling (it’s kind of like a bowling ball, we think) we’ve put together a list of some of our other favourite dark comedies. It was really hard, guys, because there are so many good ones. SO MANY. 

Think of all the notes we could write if we had our own giant novelty pencil.

Obviously Sightseers is the first on this list. Because erotic knit underthings, and that pasta sauce and hands down the best use of “Tainted Love.”  Sightseers, from Vanguard and Midnight Madness favourite Ben Wheatley, tells the tale of . They’re on a grand adventure to visit such amazing places as the Keswick Pencil Museum. Wow, sign us up for that road trip. Except things take an unexpected turn because it sort of (read: really, actually, no doubt about it) turns  into a killing spree. Don’t you hate it when that happens? There are still plenty (and plenty) of laughs, though, and a giant pencil. What more could you want? 

Great day for a stroll in the park, eh.

Happiness is admittedly a little tougher to digest, even for fans of the darkest of dark comedies. Did you manage to find the humour in happiness? This author did, so take that as you will. She understands if you don’t want to associate with her anymore because DAMN does this movie go down a bleak path. Happiness weaves together a story of some very not happy people—in fact, they’re downright despicable. From a sex-craved phone masturbator to a pedophile who also happens to be a kind of devoted father, we understand why it would be hard to get behind Happiness. We will say that we agree about the plastic baggies. They ARE very relatable. Everyone uses ‘em, after all. 

See what Lance had to put up with? So rude.

World’s Greatest Dad asks the question: what if you have the worst son ever and he dies (because he’s literally the worst) but you sort of want to memorialize a better version of him? We almost don’t blame Robin Williams’ character, Lance. To finally be able to create the awesome son you always wish you had, to make people actually miss him and think he was some sort of awe-inspiring hidden-talent writer when it's really your own writing that everybody is loving is almost impossible to resist. Okay, fine, it’s also super horrible.

Well, how do we even begin to describe Killer Joe. All we can say is we'll never think of Kentucky Fried Chicken the same ever again. We mean K Fried C. Killer Joe is your typical "I'm in gambling debt so I'm going to have to kill my mum for the insurance money" tale. Don't you love those? Chris (Emile Hirsch) hires contract killer Joe (Matthew McConaughey-hey-hey) to get the job done but then Joe decides to take Chris' sister as a retainer. It used to be so easy to kill your mum but it's really hard to find decent contract killers these days. The movie is pretty violent as every character gets their face smashed into something (don't want anyone to feel left out, of course) but that's okay because it's worth it for this amazing McConaughey performance. 

"Did we make it past the first round?" 

Yeah, yeah, we already mentioned one Bobcat Goldthwait film in this list (World's Greatest Dad) but we can't help if he's one of the best at crafting absolutely bananas dark comedies. God Bless America was also a Midnight Madness favourite so it's only fitting we end our list with it. This film is a classic, all-American tale of a man becoming so enraged with how disgusting and awful and selfish people have become that he decides to go on a rampage and kill them all. But just the bad ones, don't worry. He inspires a teenage girl to join his cause and off they go to live the bloody, ultraviolent American dream! Ah, inspring isn't.

This list could be a helluva lot longer but we've got movies to see and more blogs to write so look up some more on your own, jokers. And when you're done with that, make sure you're seeing The Voices this week for the dark comedy to end all dark comedies.

The Voices is screening at the 2014 Toronto International Film Festival as part of the Vanguard Programme. Check out more Vanguard films on the official Festival website.

THE VOICES screening times:

Thursday, Sept 11th 9:00 PM RYERSON
Friday, Sept 12th 6:00 PM THE BLOOR HOT DOCS CINEMA

The Vanguard Blog Mascot Battle Winner Announcement!

Well jabrones, it's been a harrowing few days. We dropped Benson, Moorhead, and the mole cricket on an island with nothing but a match, a rubber band, a party size bag of M&Ms (plain, if you're curious), and a bowling ball and set them loose in a battle...TO THE DEATH. Okay, not actually. But only because that would be really, really expensive. We mean, as much as we here at the Vanguard Blog would love to just be dropping directors and insects on islands left and right, we have our expenses to think about. Cats too. Children and significant others? Maybe.

Enough shenanigans! It's time—finally—to announce the winner of the 2014 Vanguard Blog Mascot Battle. Who will come out on top?! Why do we still not know the best breed of cat for lifting?! Why does the mole cricket look so adorable in his boxing gloves? At least one of these questions we can answer and we will do it right now! RIGHT EFFIN' NOW!

But first, let's recap our intrepid contenders. You know, to draw this out as much as possible.

Justin Benson is apparently a respectable skateboarder and we're pretty sure he told us he also does yoga. Does he have what it takes to knock the other contenders out of the running?! DO THOSE TOWEL CONSERVING SKILLZ REALLY PAY THE BILLZ?! 

While we admire Aaron Moorhead's ability to put on sunglasses whilst lifting cats, we wonder how he held up in this battle to the death. Maybe the age old question of "cat versus towels: which is better?" will finally be answered! 

The mole cricket is just so damn cute. Lookit those boxing gloves! Ehehehehehehhehehehehehe. \

Or maybe last year's victor, Joe Swanberg, will somehow use his unstoppable charisma to reach all the way from Chicago and snatch the title back?! It's anyone's game at this point. Do you have any idea who will come out the victor?!? Neither do we! Oh, yeah. Wait, yes we do. The winner of the 2014 Vanguard Blog Mascot Battle is....

 ...a pencil?! A giant novelty pencil? Wait, but that's no ordinary giant novelty pencil. That, friends, is the giant novelty pencil from the Keswick Pencil Museum in Sightseers! How did this happen, you say? Sightseers was from 2012, you say?! Can a pencil even win things, you say?! Listen, that giant novelty pencil transcends all space and time and is also super practical, because you can write notes with it, use it as a weapon, maybe even a door stop. Tina and Poppy understand where we're coming from, right guys?

Seriously, what could be better than that pencil?! 

This has been the 2014 Vanguard Blog Mascot Battle. Congrats to all of our contenders but, sorry, not sorry, this pencil is really rad and we wish we had one and doesn't it look great in a crown? Deal with it. AND IN ONE YEAR WE WILL RETURN WITH THE NEXT VANGUARD BLOG MASCOT BATTLE. EXCELSIOR!

(PS - if anyone were to know of the location of such a glorious pencil (and not one of those barely larger than normal sized ones Amazon sells, pfft, please inform Siân immediately. Thank you.)