Vanguard Mascot Battle Contender #3

Pew! Pew! Pew! Splosions! Wonder!

It's that time again. The time when the most coveted award in all of TIFF is up for the taking.

We are talking about, of course, Vanguard Mascot Battle, in which several people, insects, animals and even inanimate objects compete for the coveted title of Official Vanguard Blog Mascot.

Our final contender is going to have some rough competition with the chicken and Once and Future Vanguard Mascot Joe Swanberg.

The chicken has all the powers of a chicken and a pedigree traceable to the age of the dinosaurs. Joe Swanberg has all the powers of being a good sport and probably deserving better than being drawn into our Mascot Battle, but he probably doesn't know since he's directing/acting in/producing fifty movies simultaneously right this moment. But that doesn't detract from the might of our next contender...

Name: Iconic Director Bruce McDonald's Iconic Cowboy Hat.

Also Known As: Bruce McDonald's Cowboy Hat; "Man, what a sweet hat."

Description: Straw cowboy hat, well-worn, with a lot of character.

Strengths: Protecting from the sun's glare and other bright lights; Preventing sunburn on the scalp; Looking pretty sweet; Biding.

Weaknesses: Strong winds; Possibly moths or carpet beetles; Definitely goats; Being inanimate.

See how happy the cowboy hat makes Bruce McDonald? We could all be this happy.

Signature Moves: Setting; Being cocked; Reblocking; Going really well with a men's shirt with a floral design, especially if it's embroidered by one's pa.

Why Bruce McDonald's Cowboy Hat would make a good replacement Vanguard Blog mascot for the Giant Novelty Pencil from the Keswick Pencil Museum in Ben Wheatley's Sightseers:

Bruce McDonald's Cowboy hat is equally inanimate and yet has far greater stature than the Giant Novelty Pencil from the Keswikc Pencil Museum. It has a quiet dignity that we can all admire. It could easily contain the Midnight Madness blog's isopod and at least distract the chicken. The only real challenge to the hat is Joe Swanberg. Will Swanberg's acting skills allow him to successfully wear the hat--or will the cowboy hat seem to wear him?

The hat isn't in Bruce McDonald's Hellions, but you can feel its presence... 

The 2015 Vanguard Mascot Battle: Contender #1

Boom! Sparkles! Sparkles! Sparkles!

It's that time again. The time when the most coveted award in all of TIFF is up for the taking.

We are talking about, of course, Vanguard Mascot Battle, in which several people, insects, animals and even inanimate objects compete for the coveted title of Official Vanguard Blog Mascot.

Sure, the Midnight Madness blog makes do with an unofficial mascot, the giant isopod. But here at Vanguard, we like to do things right--with a no holds barred battle.

And this year, there is an obvious choice for Vanguard Mascot, one candidate who has won our hearts...

That's right, this chicken from Men & Chicken.

Name: Chicken

Also known as: Gallus gallus domesticus; "Red Junglefowl"; "Winner Winner Chicken Dinner"

Description: Chicken.

 Strengths: Scratching; Pecking; Terrifying Werner Herzog.

Weaknesses: Flightless; Foxes; Hypnotism; Coyotes; Being Delicious; Curry.

 Signature moves: Scratching; Roosting; Pecking; Rooster Fist

 

Rooster Mo'fo'ing Fist

Finishing moves: Fostering Existential Dread; "The Enormity of their Flat Brain." (Seriously, have you seen, The Chickening?)

Why the Chicken would make a good replacement Vanguard Blog mascot for the Giant Novelty Pencil from the Keswick Pencil Museum in Ben Wheatley's Sightseers:

Chickens, like Vanguard films,  are pretty. Though he hasn't officially entered, word on the street is that Joe Swanberg is this year's Comeback Kid. He obviously produced and took a role in Lace Crater to be eligible for the title again. Well, you might be on top of the evolutionary chain now, Joe Swanberg, and this chicken might only be in one movie, but chickens remember a time when things were different, a time when chickens--or at least a common ancestor shared by chickens and dinosaurs--ruled the earth. At least this chicken would, if chickens had very good memories.  And this chicken is the contender most likely to be able to defeat the Midnight Madness Isopod mascot, if it came to a thrown down because, 1) DINOSAURS, Jabronis; and, 2) The Terrifying Power of Existential Dread.

MEN & CHICKEN Final Screening:
Sun. Sept 20, 3:30 PM SCOTIABANK 1

LACE CRATER Screening Times:
Thu. Sept 17, 9:30PM SCOTIABANK 14
Sun. Sept 20, 3:15PM SCOTIABANK 9

LACE CRATER Premieres Tonight!

Wanna go see a movie?

Grab your burlap "going out" sacks because Lace Crater premieres tonight. (You're going to want to pick up some protection, too. Love is love, but intimate hauntings and sexually transmitted ghostism are forever).

Lace Crater is the charming and sometimes creepy story of a Ruth (Lindsay Burdge), a young woman going through some relationship troubles, and a shy ghost named Michael. As Vanguard Programmer Colin Geddes puts it:

An awkward twentysomething begins to undergo some strange physical changes after a weekend tryst — with a ghost — in this charmingly lo-fi, supernaturally-tinged comedy-drama.

Will Ruth and Michael make it work despite the chafiness of burlap? Will they remember to use protection and avoid intimate hauntings and sexually transmitted ghostism? 

And, if that's not enough drama, Lace Crater also features, special guest, Joe Swanberg, the inaugural Vanguard Program Blog Mascot. Could this be his attempt to reclaim the title?

Hi, is this Vanguard Mascot Battle? I have a contender.

LACE CRATER Screening Times:
Tuesday, Sept 15th, 9:30 PM SCOTIABANK 10
Tuesday, Sept 17th, 9:30 PM SCOTIABANK 14
Sunday, Sept 20th, 3:15 PM SCOTIABANK 9

LACE CRATER: Director Profile + 5 Questions With Harrison Atkins

Lace Crater is director Harrison Atkins's feature film debut, and it's playing as part of this year's Vanguard programme.

An awkward twentysomething begins to undergo some strange physical changes after a weekend tryst - with a ghost - in this charmingly lo-fi, supernaturally-tinged comedy-drama.

Not content to do just one thing, Atkins is a director, producer, writer, cinematographer, editor, and musician. Whew! That's a lot of talent for one guy.

We've already discussed a few of his short films on the blog, and if you haven't already, you should definitely check them out. They are weird, witty, and wonderful.

After watching the short films and the Lace Crater teaser trailer, our curiosity was piqued so we chatted with Atkins about his influences and his obsession with cats. There may have been some mention of the Official Vanguard Mascot Competition, too. Hrmmm...

"Hello, this is the Committee To Re-Elect Joe Swanberg as Official Vanguard Mascot calling..."

 You've got Bandcamp pages for three different bands (all of which you are involved with) listed on your website. In "Blissful Banquet" you actually have music performed live. Would you ever be interested in scoring films?

I'd love to score films. I was able to compose for films a little bit in college and found it very stimulating. In the past few years, I've toyed with the possibility of scoring a film of my own, but have always ended up collaborating with other artists. Maybe some day!

Please expand upon your fascination with cats. They feature prominently in two of your short films. Do you have cats of your own?

No, I'm actually allergic to cats so in my real life I have to keep them at a distance. I think cinema is the only lens through which I can explore my desire to pet them and hold them. Honestly, I'm not sure why they keep popping up. I guess I just think they're funny? But I'm not ruling out the possibility of some subconscious or repressed trauma.

Last year, It Follows, a movie about a girl who contracts a ghost from sex, played at the Festival. In Lace Crater, your character has sex with a ghost. Do you think that sex and ghosts are part of the current cultural zeitgeist and if so, why?

It's pretty strange! I mean, I think technology has the capability to fracture identity in a way is sort of unprecedented. There's definitely something kind of spectral to me about the personas people adopt online. Not to mention this whole uniquely modern experience of having a friend or acquaintance who tragically dies, but then you can still visit all of their social media accounts? That's a very ghostly thing, really, this Internet proxy self that haunts cyberspace after death. So I suppose this all could be a corollary of culture's increasingly immediate and intimate relationship with technology.

Your short films have playful, sarcastic, almost surreal qualities. Are there any filmmakers who have inspired you to strive for those qualities because of their own films?

So many. But Stephen Chow instantly springs to mind; he's one of my favorites. And along the same lines, Katsuhito Ishii - especially Funky Forest, which was huge for me. And I'm a pretty big Apichatpong Weerasethakul guy; a lot of his films have a kind of goofy formal language that really resonates with me. Andrzej Zulawski is in there somewhere, too. And David Lynch, when he's being funny.

Did you know that Joe Swanberg was the Official Vanguard Mascot of 2013? Now that you have this information, do you feel compelled to toss your hat into the ring for Official Vanguard Mascot of 2015? (Also, how is Mr. Swanberg handling things post-Vanguard Mascot? He never returns our texts.)

I'm tempted to gun for the crown this year, but what's the point of replacing one giant novelty pencil with another? What I mean to say is, I have a lot of respect for the current Mascot. It seems like a really tough job. And I know Joe just hasn't been the same since he lost the title last year. I think the transition from Mascot back to civilian can be really rough. (It's a complex social issue that I don't think gets enough publicity.)

LACE CRATER Screening Times:
Tue. Sept 15, 9:30PM SCOTIABANK 10
Thu. Sept 17, 9:30PM SCOTIABANK 14
Sun. Sept 20, 3:15PM SCOTIABANK 9

The Vanguard Blog Mascot Battle Winner Announcement!

Well jabrones, it's been a harrowing few days. We dropped Benson, Moorhead, and the mole cricket on an island with nothing but a match, a rubber band, a party size bag of M&Ms (plain, if you're curious), and a bowling ball and set them loose in a battle...TO THE DEATH. Okay, not actually. But only because that would be really, really expensive. We mean, as much as we here at the Vanguard Blog would love to just be dropping directors and insects on islands left and right, we have our expenses to think about. Cats too. Children and significant others? Maybe.

Enough shenanigans! It's time—finally—to announce the winner of the 2014 Vanguard Blog Mascot Battle. Who will come out on top?! Why do we still not know the best breed of cat for lifting?! Why does the mole cricket look so adorable in his boxing gloves? At least one of these questions we can answer and we will do it right now! RIGHT EFFIN' NOW!

But first, let's recap our intrepid contenders. You know, to draw this out as much as possible.

Justin Benson is apparently a respectable skateboarder and we're pretty sure he told us he also does yoga. Does he have what it takes to knock the other contenders out of the running?! DO THOSE TOWEL CONSERVING SKILLZ REALLY PAY THE BILLZ?! 

While we admire Aaron Moorhead's ability to put on sunglasses whilst lifting cats, we wonder how he held up in this battle to the death. Maybe the age old question of "cat versus towels: which is better?" will finally be answered! 

The mole cricket is just so damn cute. Lookit those boxing gloves! Ehehehehehehhehehehehehe. \

Or maybe last year's victor, Joe Swanberg, will somehow use his unstoppable charisma to reach all the way from Chicago and snatch the title back?! It's anyone's game at this point. Do you have any idea who will come out the victor?!? Neither do we! Oh, yeah. Wait, yes we do. The winner of the 2014 Vanguard Blog Mascot Battle is....

 ...a pencil?! A giant novelty pencil? Wait, but that's no ordinary giant novelty pencil. That, friends, is the giant novelty pencil from the Keswick Pencil Museum in Sightseers! How did this happen, you say? Sightseers was from 2012, you say?! Can a pencil even win things, you say?! Listen, that giant novelty pencil transcends all space and time and is also super practical, because you can write notes with it, use it as a weapon, maybe even a door stop. Tina and Poppy understand where we're coming from, right guys?

Seriously, what could be better than that pencil?! 

This has been the 2014 Vanguard Blog Mascot Battle. Congrats to all of our contenders but, sorry, not sorry, this pencil is really rad and we wish we had one and doesn't it look great in a crown? Deal with it. AND IN ONE YEAR WE WILL RETURN WITH THE NEXT VANGUARD BLOG MASCOT BATTLE. EXCELSIOR!

(PS - if anyone were to know of the location of such a glorious pencil (and not one of those barely larger than normal sized ones Amazon sells, pfft, please inform Siân immediately. Thank you.)

Vanguard Blog Mascot Contender #3: The Mole Cricket!

Pew! Pew! Fireworks! Confetti!

Just when it seemed like it was all settled. Just when the helicopters had been deployed to retrieve Spring's Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead and relocate them to the mysterious island on which they will battle for Vanguard Mascot Supremacy, everything's changed.

There's a new contender in town and he brings the regards of The Duke Of Burgundy...

Name: Mole Cricket

Also known as: Gryllotalpa gryllotalpa; "Aaaaah!"; and "What the hell is that?!"

Description: Brownish with a lighter underside; heavily plated head, forelimbs and prothoroax; mole-like digging claws.

 Strengths: Digging; Singing; Flight; Biting.

Weaknesses: Not a strong jumper; Winter; Curry.

Signature moves: Digging; Long Whirring Call; Stealth Attacks; Mole Cricket Fist

Finishing moves: Creeping people out; "Mole Cricket Exits The Cave" Stance.

Why the Mole Cricket would make a good replacement Vanguard Blog mascot for Joe Swanberg:

The Mole Cricket looks cute in boxing gloves. He is the contender most likely to be able to defeat the Midnight Madness Isopod mascot, if it came to a thrown down. The ability to enrage golfers alone is enough reason for the Mole Cricket to become the Official Mascot. Mole Crickets are also bound to become an indie film sensation just like Joe Swanberg.

Vanguard Blog Mascot Contender #2 Profile: SPRING's Aaron Moorhead

Our quest to spice things up and possibly alienate/terrify filmmakers continues! The battle for glory, honor, and the name of Official Vanguard Blog Mascot also continues! We've told you about Contender #1, Justin "That Resolution guy" Benson; now we present Contender #2!

Name: Aaron Scott Moorhead

Also known as: "That other Resolution guy"

Description: Reddish blond area with points, facial hair

Strengths: Cat-lifting, Ciaran Foy movies, catacomb exploration

Weaknesses: Vampires, winged horses

Signature move: Screaming in stairwells

Finishing move: Putting on and taking off sunglasses

Why Aaron Moorhead would make a good replacement Vanguard Blog mascot for Joe Swanberg: Aaron has the power to bypass the confines of time and space when toasting with a wineglass. Plus he went hunting with the King of England that one time.

Who will win? Stay tuned, faithful readers!

Vanguard Blog Mascot Contender #1: SPRING's Justin Benson

Okay gang, it's that time of year for us to announce our Vanguard Mascot! *blaring trumpets* *tossed confetti* And the blog readers rejoiced!

If you remember last year, we just decided to declare Director/Actor/Beer Brewer/All Around Great Guy Joe Swanberg as our "Unofficial" Mascot because this is the Vanguard Blog and we can do what we want. Swanberg was an obvious choice because he appeared in NOT ONE BUT TWO Vanguard films in 2013 (Proxy; The Sacrament). This year we've decided to make it official because, remember, we do what we want.

Unfortunately, our inaugural champ only appears in our collective hearts at the 2014 Festival, sigh. And with no films it means that-gasp-the title of Official Vanguard Mascot 2014 must fall to another. Sorry, Joe Swanberg. Um, maybe if you were part of a TIFF 2014 movie, this wouldn't be happening to you right now. Yeah. Exactly. (PS - we still love you and technically owe you an ice cream cone, eep.)

But wait! Instead of just declaring a new winner, we've decided to spice things up this year because why declare a winner when... YOU CAN HAVE A BATTLE. FOR GLORY! FOR HONOUR! Oh heck yes. So without further ado, we present to you the first contender for the title of Official Vanguard Mascot 2014.

Name: Justin Benson

Also known as: "That Resolution guy"

Description: Brownish area with points, tattoos

Strengths: Telepathy, conserving towels, wearing black turtlenecks

Weaknesses: Frozen lakes, recognizing English accents

Signature moves: Turning into a ghost

Finishing moves: Speaking Spanish

Why Justin Benson would make a good replacement Vanguard Blog mascot for Joe Swanberg: Besides being able to high five while jogging along the Seine, Justin can also communicate with mermaids which would come in handy when watching genre movies.

Stay tuned for the second contender. We'll be dropping all contenders on an island and having them fight to the death. If you want to send something to a tribute, wait, wrong movie. LET THE BATTLE BEGIN!