THE VOICES: More Dark Comedies!

"You picked the movie last night, Mr Whiskers. I want to watch a romantic comedy." 

If you’ve been paying attention to the Vanguard blog lately, we’ve been going on and on about how The Voices is one of the darkest comedies of the year; maybe even of ever. If you haven’t been paying attention, um, where have you been? Excuse you. EXCUSE YOU. Anyway, to keep this awesome dark comedy ball rolling (it’s kind of like a bowling ball, we think) we’ve put together a list of some of our other favourite dark comedies. It was really hard, guys, because there are so many good ones. SO MANY. 

Think of all the notes we could write if we had our own giant novelty pencil.

Obviously Sightseers is the first on this list. Because erotic knit underthings, and that pasta sauce and hands down the best use of “Tainted Love.”  Sightseers, from Vanguard and Midnight Madness favourite Ben Wheatley, tells the tale of . They’re on a grand adventure to visit such amazing places as the Keswick Pencil Museum. Wow, sign us up for that road trip. Except things take an unexpected turn because it sort of (read: really, actually, no doubt about it) turns  into a killing spree. Don’t you hate it when that happens? There are still plenty (and plenty) of laughs, though, and a giant pencil. What more could you want? 

Great day for a stroll in the park, eh.

Happiness is admittedly a little tougher to digest, even for fans of the darkest of dark comedies. Did you manage to find the humour in happiness? This author did, so take that as you will. She understands if you don’t want to associate with her anymore because DAMN does this movie go down a bleak path. Happiness weaves together a story of some very not happy people—in fact, they’re downright despicable. From a sex-craved phone masturbator to a pedophile who also happens to be a kind of devoted father, we understand why it would be hard to get behind Happiness. We will say that we agree about the plastic baggies. They ARE very relatable. Everyone uses ‘em, after all. 

See what Lance had to put up with? So rude.

World’s Greatest Dad asks the question: what if you have the worst son ever and he dies (because he’s literally the worst) but you sort of want to memorialize a better version of him? We almost don’t blame Robin Williams’ character, Lance. To finally be able to create the awesome son you always wish you had, to make people actually miss him and think he was some sort of awe-inspiring hidden-talent writer when it's really your own writing that everybody is loving is almost impossible to resist. Okay, fine, it’s also super horrible.

Well, how do we even begin to describe Killer Joe. All we can say is we'll never think of Kentucky Fried Chicken the same ever again. We mean K Fried C. Killer Joe is your typical "I'm in gambling debt so I'm going to have to kill my mum for the insurance money" tale. Don't you love those? Chris (Emile Hirsch) hires contract killer Joe (Matthew McConaughey-hey-hey) to get the job done but then Joe decides to take Chris' sister as a retainer. It used to be so easy to kill your mum but it's really hard to find decent contract killers these days. The movie is pretty violent as every character gets their face smashed into something (don't want anyone to feel left out, of course) but that's okay because it's worth it for this amazing McConaughey performance. 

"Did we make it past the first round?" 

Yeah, yeah, we already mentioned one Bobcat Goldthwait film in this list (World's Greatest Dad) but we can't help if he's one of the best at crafting absolutely bananas dark comedies. God Bless America was also a Midnight Madness favourite so it's only fitting we end our list with it. This film is a classic, all-American tale of a man becoming so enraged with how disgusting and awful and selfish people have become that he decides to go on a rampage and kill them all. But just the bad ones, don't worry. He inspires a teenage girl to join his cause and off they go to live the bloody, ultraviolent American dream! Ah, inspring isn't.

This list could be a helluva lot longer but we've got movies to see and more blogs to write so look up some more on your own, jokers. And when you're done with that, make sure you're seeing The Voices this week for the dark comedy to end all dark comedies.

The Voices is screening at the 2014 Toronto International Film Festival as part of the Vanguard Programme. Check out more Vanguard films on the official Festival website.

THE VOICES screening times:

Thursday, Sept 11th 9:00 PM RYERSON
Friday, Sept 12th 6:00 PM THE BLOOR HOT DOCS CINEMA

GOODNIGHT, MOMMY: Faceless Films

"I'm all out of hope / One more bad break could bring a fall / When I'm far from home
Don't call me on the phone / To tell me you're alone."

Vanguard Bloggers Leslie and Sian covered the perils of recuperating in a cabin in the middle of nowhere and engendered a healthy fear of children in us all. But there's one aspect of Goodnight, Mommy I'd like to cover: Facelessness.

"Les Yeus Sans Visage / Eyes Without A Face"

Eyes Without A Face / Les Yeux Sans Visage (1960)

When Christiane (Edith Scob) is disfigured in a car accident,  her father, the brilliant surgeon Dr. Génessier, decides the only thing he can do is kidnap women, surgically remove their faces and attempt them to graft them onto hers. And the only thing he can do with young women after the attempts inevitably fail, is to feed their corpses to his poor, surgically experimented on dogs. But just because it's mad science love, doesn't mean it's not love. Director Georges Franju went on to make a French television series called, L'Homme Sans Visage (1976) but Billy Idol never wrote a sensitive song about that, unfortunately.

"Got no human grace / You're eyes without a face"

The Face Of Another (1966)

Mr. Okuyama (Tatsuya Nakadai) has also been disfigured, but instead of a car crash, he was injured in a laboratory accident. And instead of investing in plastic surgery, Okuyama receives treatment from a psychiatrist (Mikijiro Hira) who gives him a mask modeled on the face of another man. Okuyama becomes increasingly violent, testing his wife's faithfulness, assaulting another woman and ultimately killing his doctor in a faceless crowd. Within this story, there is another of a young woman (Miki Irie) whose face was injured in the Nagasaki bombing. Plus, Kobo Abe wrote both the novel the film's based on and its screenplay.

"I spend so much time/ Believing all the lies
To keep the dream alive / Now it makes me sad"

The Skin I Live In / La Piel Que Habito (2011)

 Plastic surgeon Dr. Ledgard (Antonio Banderas) has invented a revolutionary artificial skin that resists damage but mimics human skin. As is the way with mad scientists, when his colleagues disapprove of his experiments on humans, he continues his work despite having no access to official facilities for it. And like many mad scientists--and his colleague Dr. Génessier--Dr. Ledgard has a vast estate that is plenty secluded enough to continue his work. Here he continues it on poor Vera (Elena Anaya), a woman who lives in his house and who has dreams from Dr. Ledgard's past and who resembles Dr. Ledgard's late wife.

"Reading murder books trying to stay hip / I'm thinking of you
you're out there so / Say your prayers."

Onibaba (1964)

After a man named Kichi is forced to serve in a local lord's army, his mother (Nobuko Otawa) and his wife (Jitsuko Yoshimura) lose their livelihood. It's impossible to farm with a civil war raging and with the loss of Kichi's help. Instead, they survive in an overgrown paddy by killing soldiers, stripping the bodies and trading the weapons and armor for food. The younger woman starts sneaking out to see Kichi's friend Hachi (Kei Sato), who has returned from the war, when she thinks her mother-in-law is asleep. One night, the older woman finds a demon mask on a dead samurai's face. She wears it to terrify her daughter-in-law back into her house, but the mask fuses to her face.

"Such a human waste / You're eyes without a face

And now it's getting worse"

GOODNIGHT MOMMY screening times:
Monday, Sept 8th, 7:00 PM THE BLOOR HOT DOCS CINEMA
Wednesday, Sept 10th, 9:30 PM SCOTIABANK 14
Friday, Sept 12th, 3:00 PM THE BLOOR HOT DOCS CINEMA

GOODNIGHT MOMMY: "Middle of Nowhere" Movies

Dark, isolated homes: great for family bonding with mum. 

We're pretty sure that a lot of horror movies would never even happen is the main characters decided to ask this important question: "Wait, why are we going to this place in the middle of nowhere again? On second thought, nah." In Goodnight Mommy, mum takes her twin sons to their secluded country home so that she may heal. It is this isolated environment that festers the twins' feelings of resentment toward their mother. We've thought up a five more films that really didn't help matters by being in the middle of nowhere.

"Check out my cabin, ladies. If we go for a walk later, maybe we'll spot a deer!" 

1. Lars Von Trier's Antichrist takes the concept of "horror film in a cabin in the woods" and does terrible, strange things to it. But shocking imagery aside, it still stands: so you and your wife experience a tragedy and you think the best place for her to heal is in the middle of the woods? AFTER she told you that place was her greatest fear? Uhhh. Well, gee, maybe you deserved everything you got, Willem Dafoe. (Just kidding, no one deserves that, no one. *shudder*)

We'd feel the same way too if we found out our isolated mansion wasn't wifi compatible. 

2. In The Others, Nicole Kidman lives with her two children in a giant, remote house. The children must hide inside all day due to being allergic to the sun and mum Nicole Kidman being a serious buzzkill. It's when the new servants arrive that ish starts to get weird. Is there someone else in the house with them? Is the isolation driving you mad? Don't you wish you had neighbours? Or a Starbucks you could hide out at? It's almost Pumpkin Spice Latte season, ya know.

We read on HuffPo that depilated cabins in the woods are the perfect place to force someone to recover from heroin. 

3. The 2013 Evil Dead remake gets man a "WHY?!" Why would you think it's a good idea to take someone THERE to get over a heroin addiction? Why would you read that book when it tells you not to? WHY TREE-THING WHY?! WHY TONGUE WHY!?! Not that we'd be there in the first place (because a Holiday Inn Express is just a good a place to detox from heroin if you ask us), but the minute we unearthed all that awfulness in the cellar, we'd get the heck outta there. 

It's so cozy! And reflective! 

4. Bug makes us itchy just thinking about it. On the one hand, Michael Shannon. On the other hand, bugs. Bugs. Gross. They're everywhere. You might not be able to see them, but just us, they are there. Not even the pizza is safe! Bug is the ultimate exercise in paranoia and watching Ashley Judd and Micahel Shannon completely lose it in their motel room is uncomfortable and unsettling and sort of makes us wary of motels in general. We'll forever love and hate Tracey Letts and William Friedkin for teaming up and giving us this unforgettable story. 

"What do you mean we aren't here to play real-life Clue??" 

5. Yeah, we're talking about the original 1963 The Haunting. As much as we love us some Liam Neeson, we'll just pretend the remake never happened. The Haunting brings together a group of people, one of whom is a paranormal investigator, and plops them inside what is apparently a haunted house. Why guys? WHY!? Get outta there already. The production design and filming itself lend to the overall creeptastic effect of the film. We'll leave supernatural occurrences in terrifying houses to the Winchester boys, thanks all the same. 

Ah, a calming canoe trip. WHAT COULD GO WRONG?!

BONUS ROUND: The category of "fun vacay gone horrible awry" is a category of its own for horror films, but we couldn't end this list without mentioning the ultimate: Deliverance. Are manly canoe trips with one's friends no longer sacred?!?! Next time, stay-cation.

Goodnight Mommy is screening at the 2014 Toronto International Film Festival as part of the Vanguard Programme. Check out more Vanguard films on the official Festival website.

GOODNIGHT MOMMY screening times:
Monday, Sept 8th, 7:00 PM THE BLOOR HOT DOCS CINEMA
Wednesday, Sept 10th, 9:30 PM SCOTIABANK 14
Friday, Sept 12th, 3:00 PM THE BLOOR HOT DOCS CINEMA

THEY HAVE ESCAPED: "Troubled Youth" Films

"Are we troubled?"
"You are naked and wearing an animal head."

We're extremely excited about They Have Escaped, as its portrayal of the pains and troubles of adolescence seems sincere and explosive. We remember what it was like to grow up and appreciate the films that take a look at the darker side of being a young person. Here's five more films that we hold dear for those same reasons. 

Nothing says troubled like sitting on the floor, right? 

1. Short Term 12 is a raw and intimate look at the employees and wards of a short-term care facility for troubled teens. The film is technically more of a story of one of the employees (a jaw-dropping performance from Brie Larson) but the teens that are highlighted in the story deserve major props as well. They are all coping with their own demons AND trying to play Whiffle Ball together, so ish gets real. While there is humour in the film, it is never at the expense the reality of these teens' lives.

Also, nothing says troubled like a hoody. 

2. Fish Tank is an award-winning film that follows the life of a fiery, volatile fifteen-year-old girl named Mia. She picks fights with near everyone in her life, from her little sister to her mum to her friends, is obsessed with trying to free a chained-up horse from a field (wouldn't you, though?), and loves to dance (but only if no one is watching). It's not until her mum's new boyfriend (why helllooooooo there, Michael Fassbender) shows up that her life appears to do a complete backflip, and probably not for the better. (We tried to make a dancing analogy. Did it work?)

Sitting on bleachers, check. Plaid, check. Ripped jeans, check. I think we got ourselves some troubled youth here.

3. River's Edge asks that all too important question: if one of your friends killed somebody, what would you do about it? Okay, so maybe that's not a question you want to be wondering about your friends but the group of friends in this film face it head-on and things don't really go as you would expect. It gets kind of dark, actually. Other things we learned from this film: don't call Crispin Glover an ingrate; he doesn't appreciate it. At all.

Bunny ears would probably be cute in any other context.

4. We couldn't mention "troubled youth" films without giving Harmony Korine his own number. From writing Kids to his directorial debut Gummo to the more recent Spring Breakers, Korine has a gift for portraying young people in a completely shocking, yet still authentic way. And while we appreciate and applaud Korine's unapologetic, and sometimes disturbing, portrayal of youth, we're, uh, pretty sure we wouldn't be sitting with these kids during lunch. 

Aw, they look so adorable and innocent.

5. Before Peter Jackson was frolicking with hobbits, he was telling the story of two lovely girls who developed close and somewhat magical relationship in Heavenly Creatures... on second thought, maybe too close. We're all for being besties with Kate Winslet and Melanie Lynskey but we don't know if we'd resort to violent measures if our perfect friendship was threatened. Then again, it is really hard to find a decent friend these days. 

These troubled youth really pump our nads.

BONUS ROUND: Ahhh, the Breakfast Club. The original troubled youths (uh, never mind all the films that came before it). We've got a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal. Except, wait, you can't define them! They're each all those things and more! *Cue Judd Nelson's fist in the air.*

They Have Escaped is screening at the 2014 Toronto International Film Festival as part of the Vanguard Programme. Check out more Vanguard films on the official Festival website.

THEY HAVE ESCAPED screening times:

Monday, Sept 8th, 9:45 PM BLOOR HOT DOCS CINEMA
Wednesday, Sept 10, 4:00 PM SCOTIABANK 14
Saturday, Sept 13, 10:00 PM SCOTIABANK 8

GOODNIGHT MOMMY: Even More Movies with Creepy Kids

"We're not creepy. We're adorable!" 

While Goodnight Mommy makes both the mum and children look absolutely terrifying, we have to admit that the kids give us the heebie-jeebies a little more. Maybe it's the twin thing, or the masks. *shudder* You may be thinking to yourself that you've seen a blog like this before and you would be correct. We covered creepy kids a couples years ago for Here Comes the Devil and over on the Midnight Madness blog, Leslie has put together her own list to go along with Cub. Lucky for us, there are no shortage of creepy kids movies and as long as it continues to be a topic of interest, we'll be blogging about it. You could think of it as a friendly reminder to why maybe you shouldn't procreate.

Elijah's got the right idea. 

1. The Good Son stars Macaulay Culkin as the complete opposite of a good son. Mostly because he's a crazy psycopath. Just look at how wigged out little Elijah Wood looks in that still. Poor Elijah. He moved in with his extended family after a tragedy and just wants to heal except Macaulay isn't having any of that. Moral of this story: if your child can stare down a manic, barking dog, he might be evil.

"Are you my mommy?" 

2. It's Alive might technically be about a baby, but that baby is a monster that kills people and if that doesn't count as creepy, we don't know what does. Everything seems perfectly normal for Frank and Lenore. She's just about ready to have their second child and life couldn't be more normal. Then Lenore goes and gives birth to a mutated monster thing that kills everything in its path and that sort of messes up the entire family dynamic. Way to go, mutant baby. You don't really get a good look at mutant baby killing action in the trailer, but it does inform us that the baby is, in fact, alive.

It's a well known fact that most ghost kids just want to play ball. 

3. The Changeling also switches it up a bit because this isn't just any normal creepy kid but a ghost. And we don't really get to see it all that often in the movie. But that doesn't matter because that ghost is damn scary. Just ask the dude he's haunting, John. Creepy enough for you, John? This is a ghost with a mission, though, so we've got to cut him some slack. He's got his own death to avenge after all. But it doesn't change the fact that haunting a house is creepy as all get out. 

We feel the same way about creepy twins too, kid. 

4. The only thing worse than one creepy kid in a movie is two identical ones. Twins, right guys? *shudder* We're going to have to endure twice the creepy in Goodnight Mommy just like in The Other. This movie isn't just creepy twins, it's also got a little bit of psychic abilities because why not. AS IF IT WASN'T CREEPY ENOUGH. There's also a fun twist at the end that somehow makes it decidedly more creepy than twins with psychic abilities.

Get away from the evil, National Treasure Charles Grodin! 

5. Okay, okay, so Clifford technically isn't a horror movie but come on! Is there anything more terrifying than supposing to believe that Martin Short is ten-year-old child? We totally get that the premise is a flashback and old, wise Martin Short is telling a story to some ruffian, but why couldn't they cast a real child? WHY, MOVIE GODS, WHY?! Things burned into our memories forever: Martin Short wearing dinosaur pyjamas sharing a donut with his toy dinosaur Steffen. Somebody out there on the world wide web conveniently recut a Clifford trailer in the style of a horror film, which matches our feelings about it perfectly. Get outta there, Charles Grodin!

BONUS ROUND: It wouldn't be a list without some sort of runner-up so we present to you, this creepy vampire kid from Salem's Lot! He gets bonus points for style and generally making us want to cry forever. 

Goodnight Mommy is screening at the 2014 Toronto International Film Festival as part of the Vanguard Programme. Check out more Vanguard films on the official Festival website.

GOODNIGHT MOMMY screening times:
Monday, Sept 8th, 7:00 PM THE BLOOR HOT DOCS CINEMA
Wednesday, Sept 10th, 9:30 PM SCOTIABANK 14
Friday, Sept 12th, 3:00 PM THE BLOOR HOT DOCS CINEMA

Six Films with HORNS

Daniel Radcliffe is looking pretty good sporting that set of horns in this still from HORNS. He certainly knows how to dress to make them look their best.

And this picture has inspired us to come up with some other fine horns in cinema history. (Thanks to Sasha James and Leslie Hatton for their suggestions).

Pan's Labyrinth / El laberinto del fauno (2006) directed by Guillermo del Toro

In Pan's Labyrinth a young girl is led into a secret underworld where a faun asks her undertake three tasks to prove her worthiness. Aside from magic and wonder and the appeal of the The Faun's nice sheep-like horns and forehead swirls, Ofelia might well want to escape the Spanish Civil War raging above and her cruel father. I would surely trust the Faun with my baby brother over a captain in Franco's secret police.

The forehead spirals really make the look.

Red Dragon (2002) directed by Brett Ratner.

As far as adaptations of Thomas Harris' novel Red Dragon go, I prefer Michael Mann's 1989 Manhunter. But we are talking horns here and one of the things the Red Dragon has is a fine pair of horns in the form of a tattoo on Hannibal Lector's pen-pal, Francis Dolarhyde. (Dolarhyde's back is played by Ralph Fiennes' back).

Nice ink.

Legend (1985) directed by Ridley Scott.

Tim Curry plays Darkness, a diabolical red satyr with a massive rack in this dark fantasy. Darkness is understandably lonely, trapped underground and unable to stand the light. Unfortunately, his solution is kidnapping a young woman, Lili, and telling her about his plans to kill unicorns, which is too bad because Darkness has some moves (or at least his magic dress does). I guess he thought it worked out for Hades. It's possible that his neck-straining rack is compensating for some low self-esteem.

Seriously, look at the size of his rack.

The Devil's Rain (1975) directed by Robert Fuest

Like me, I am certain that William Shatner is the first name you think of when you hear the words, "Satanic Cult." But he's not the only one. Robert Fuest's The Devil's Rain has an amazing cast including Shatner, Ida Lupino, Eddie Albert, Tom Skerritt, Keenan Wynn, John Travolta and a special appearance by Anton LaVey. It also stars Ernest Borgnine as Cult Leader, Jonathan Corbis, aka, the Devil Himself. And the Devil has a sweet pair of horns to go with his cute ears and goat's beard. Don't let Corbis know I called his ears and beard cute, though.

Anton LaVey tries not to find Corbis' ears endearing.

The Crimson Cult / Curse of the Crimson Altar / Curse of the Crimson Cult (1968) directed by Vernon Sewell

A young man moves into a house and is haunted by nightmares of horrifying rituals and the pressure to sell his soul. He, however, far less interesting than the scenes of Boris Karloff and Christopher Lee discussing the history of the house and the constant bother of black magic in the parlor. And he is far less interesting than Barbara Steele's amazing Witch Queen outfit, green skin, feathers, golden horns and all.

The whole film should be Barbara Steele, Boris Karloff & Christopher Lee

The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad (1958) directed by Nathan H. Juran

Okay, this Harryhausen fantasy classic has many fine and admirable creatures, but the one I'm interested in is the fantastic cyclops. Sinbad never faced a cyclops you say? That was Odysseus you say? To that, I say--Cyclops! Sure, has just one horn, but who needs two horns? This cyclops is comfortable enough with himself. He doesn't need more.

Who needs two horns?

Let's see how Daniel Radcliffe's rack measures up in Horns!

HORNS Screening Times:

Friday, Sept 6th, 6:00 PM THE BLOOR HOT DOCS CINEMA

Sunday, Sept 8th, 1:00 PM SCOTIABANK 4