Wednesday, September 3, 2014

GOODNIGHT MOMMY: Even More Movies with Creepy Kids

"We're not creepy. We're adorable!" 

While Goodnight Mommy makes both the mum and children look absolutely terrifying, we have to admit that the kids give us the heebie-jeebies a little more. Maybe it's the twin thing, or the masks. *shudder* You may be thinking to yourself that you've seen a blog like this before and you would be correct. We covered creepy kids a couples years ago for Here Comes the Devil and over on the Midnight Madness blog, Leslie has put together her own list to go along with Cub. Lucky for us, there are no shortage of creepy kids movies and as long as it continues to be a topic of interest, we'll be blogging about it. You could think of it as a friendly reminder to why maybe you shouldn't procreate.

Elijah's got the right idea. 

1. The Good Son stars Macaulay Culkin as the complete opposite of a good son. Mostly because he's a crazy psycopath. Just look at how wigged out little Elijah Wood looks in that still. Poor Elijah. He moved in with his extended family after a tragedy and just wants to heal except Macaulay isn't having any of that. Moral of this story: if your child can stare down a manic, barking dog, he might be evil.

"Are you my mommy?" 

2. It's Alive might technically be about a baby, but that baby is a monster that kills people and if that doesn't count as creepy, we don't know what does. Everything seems perfectly normal for Frank and Lenore. She's just about ready to have their second child and life couldn't be more normal. Then Lenore goes and gives birth to a mutated monster thing that kills everything in its path and that sort of messes up the entire family dynamic. Way to go, mutant baby. You don't really get a good look at mutant baby killing action in the trailer, but it does inform us that the baby is, in fact, alive.

It's a well known fact that most ghost kids just want to play ball. 

3. The Changeling also switches it up a bit because this isn't just any normal creepy kid but a ghost. And we don't really get to see it all that often in the movie. But that doesn't matter because that ghost is damn scary. Just ask the dude he's haunting, John. Creepy enough for you, John? This is a ghost with a mission, though, so we've got to cut him some slack. He's got his own death to avenge after all. But it doesn't change the fact that haunting a house is creepy as all get out. 

We feel the same way about creepy twins too, kid. 
4. The only thing worse than one creepy kid in a movie is two identical ones. Twins, right guys? *shudder* We're going to have to endure twice the creepy in Goodnight Mommy just like in The Other. This movie isn't just creepy twins, it's also got a little bit of psychic abilities because why not. AS IF IT WASN'T CREEPY ENOUGH. There's also a fun twist at the end that somehow makes it decidedly more creepy than twins with psychic abilities.

Get away from the evil, National Treasure Charles Grodin! 

5. Okay, okay, so Clifford technically isn't a horror movie but come on! Is there anything more terrifying than supposing to believe that Martin Short is ten-year-old child? We totally get that the premise is a flashback and old, wise Martin Short is telling a story to some ruffian, but why couldn't they cast a real child? WHY, MOVIE GODS, WHY?! Things burned into our memories forever: Martin Short wearing dinosaur pyjamas sharing a donut with his toy dinosaur Steffen. Somebody out there on the world wide web conveniently recut a Clifford trailer in the style of a horror film, which matches our feelings about it perfectly. Get outta there, Charles Grodin!

BONUS ROUND: It wouldn't be a list without some sort of runner-up so we present to you, this creepy vampire kid from Salem's Lot! He gets bonus points for style and generally making us want to cry forever. 

Goodnight Mommy is screening at the 2014 Toronto International Film Festival as part of the Vanguard Programme. Check out more Vanguard films on the official Festival website.

GOODNIGHT MOMMY screening times:
Monday, Sept 8th, 7:00 PM THE BLOOR HOT DOCS CINEMA
Wednesday, Sept 10th, 9:30 PM SCOTIABANK 14
Friday, Sept 12th, 3:00 PM THE BLOOR HOT DOCS CINEMA

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