Sunday, September 7, 2014

Vanguard Blog Mascot Contender #3: The Mole Cricket!

Pew! Pew! Fireworks! Confetti!

Just when it seemed like it was all settled. Just when the helicopters had been deployed to retrieve Spring's Justin Benson and Aaron Moorhead and relocate them to the mysterious island on which they will battle for Vanguard Mascot Supremacy, everything's changed.

There's a new contender in town and he brings the regards of The Duke Of Burgundy...

Name: Mole Cricket

Also known as: Gryllotalpa gryllotalpa; "Aaaaah!"; and "What the hell is that?!"

Description: Brownish with a lighter underside; heavily plated head, forelimbs and prothoroax; mole-like digging claws.

 Strengths: Digging; Singing; Flight; Biting.

Weaknesses: Not a strong jumper; Winter; Curry.

Signature moves: Digging; Long Whirring Call; Stealth Attacks; Mole Cricket Fist

Finishing moves: Creeping people out; "Mole Cricket Exits The Cave" Stance.

Why the Mole Cricket would make a good replacement Vanguard Blog mascot for Joe Swanberg:

The Mole Cricket looks cute in boxing gloves. He is the contender most likely to be able to defeat the Midnight Madness Isopod mascot, if it came to a thrown down. The ability to enrage golfers alone is enough reason for the Mole Cricket to become the Official Mascot. Mole Crickets are also bound to become an indie film sensation just like Joe Swanberg.

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