Sunday, September 7, 2014

GOODNIGHT MOMMY: "Middle of Nowhere" Movies

Dark, isolated homes: great for family bonding with mum. 

We're pretty sure that a lot of horror movies would never even happen is the main characters decided to ask this important question: "Wait, why are we going to this place in the middle of nowhere again? On second thought, nah." In Goodnight Mommy, mum takes her twin sons to their secluded country home so that she may heal. It is this isolated environment that festers the twins' feelings of resentment toward their mother. We've thought up a five more films that really didn't help matters by being in the middle of nowhere.

"Check out my cabin, ladies. If we go for a walk later, maybe we'll spot a deer!" 

1. Lars Von Trier's Antichrist takes the concept of "horror film in a cabin in the woods" and does terrible, strange things to it. But shocking imagery aside, it still stands: so you and your wife experience a tragedy and you think the best place for her to heal is in the middle of the woods? AFTER she told you that place was her greatest fear? Uhhh. Well, gee, maybe you deserved everything you got, Willem Dafoe. (Just kidding, no one deserves that, no one. *shudder*)

We'd feel the same way too if we found out our isolated mansion wasn't wifi compatible. 

2. In The Others, Nicole Kidman lives with her two children in a giant, remote house. The children must hide inside all day due to being allergic to the sun and mum Nicole Kidman being a serious buzzkill. It's when the new servants arrive that ish starts to get weird. Is there someone else in the house with them? Is the isolation driving you mad? Don't you wish you had neighbours? Or a Starbucks you could hide out at? It's almost Pumpkin Spice Latte season, ya know.

We read on HuffPo that depilated cabins in the woods are the perfect place to force someone to recover from heroin. 
3. The 2013 Evil Dead remake gets man a "WHY?!" Why would you think it's a good idea to take someone THERE to get over a heroin addiction? Why would you read that book when it tells you not to? WHY TREE-THING WHY?! WHY TONGUE WHY!?! Not that we'd be there in the first place (because a Holiday Inn Express is just a good a place to detox from heroin if you ask us), but the minute we unearthed all that awfulness in the cellar, we'd get the heck outta there. 

It's so cozy! And reflective! 

4. Bug makes us itchy just thinking about it. On the one hand, Michael Shannon. On the other hand, bugs. Bugs. Gross. They're everywhere. You might not be able to see them, but just us, they are there. Not even the pizza is safe! Bug is the ultimate exercise in paranoia and watching Ashley Judd and Micahel Shannon completely lose it in their motel room is uncomfortable and unsettling and sort of makes us wary of motels in general. We'll forever love and hate Tracey Letts and William Friedkin for teaming up and giving us this unforgettable story. 

"What do you mean we aren't here to play real-life Clue??" 

5. Yeah, we're talking about the original 1963 The Haunting. As much as we love us some Liam Neeson, we'll just pretend the remake never happened. The Haunting brings together a group of people, one of whom is a paranormal investigator, and plops them inside what is apparently a haunted house. Why guys? WHY!? Get outta there already. The production design and filming itself lend to the overall creeptastic effect of the film. We'll leave supernatural occurrences in terrifying houses to the Winchester boys, thanks all the same. 

Ah, a calming canoe trip. WHAT COULD GO WRONG?!

BONUS ROUND: The category of "fun vacay gone horrible awry" is a category of its own for horror films, but we couldn't end this list without mentioning the ultimate: Deliverance. Are manly canoe trips with one's friends no longer sacred?!?! Next time, stay-cation.

Goodnight Mommy is screening at the 2014 Toronto International Film Festival as part of the Vanguard Programme. Check out more Vanguard films on the official Festival website.

GOODNIGHT MOMMY screening times:
Monday, Sept 8th, 7:00 PM THE BLOOR HOT DOCS CINEMA
Wednesday, Sept 10th, 9:30 PM SCOTIABANK 14
Friday, Sept 12th, 3:00 PM THE BLOOR HOT DOCS CINEMA

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