Sunday, September 20, 2015

The 2015 Vanguard Mascot Battle Winner!

It's that time again. The time when the most coveted award in all of TIFF is up for the taking.

We are talking about, of course, Vanguard Mascot Battle, in which several people, insects, animals and even inanimate objects compete for the coveted title of Official Vanguard Blog Mascot.

We're coming at you all the way from England to announce the winner. Since the Giant Novelty Pencil from the Keswick Pencil Museum from Ben Wheatley's Sightseers (GNP for short) is from England, it only made sense for me to be here so I could pay tribute to GNP before passing the torch/crown/what was it again? to the new winner. Okay, fine, I moved here for realsies, which is why you didn't see me around on the Vanguard Blog much this year. I've been busy planning out my road trip to the Pencil Museum, and other British things. Sad news bears, most definitely, but not even an ocean could keep me away from the Vanguard Mascot Battle!

My steadfast blogging colleagues (blogeagues?) graciously allowed me to do the honours of announcing the final winner and I promise you it isn't a pencil or anything remotely British. Like Paddington Bear, because that would just be silly. I did seriously consider making it a marmalade sandwich, though.

So who's it going to be? That chicken is looking like he could easily take Joe Swanberg and Bruce McDonald's cowboy hat. Have you ever seen a chicken fight? Has anyone in this family ever seen a chicken? They fight mean, man.

Then again, we can't ignore the fact that Joe Swanberg is definitely more flexible than GNP and even had a burger named after him. Basically we all want to be Joe Swanberg, but is that enough to reclaim the title of Vanguard Mascot?

And Bruce McDonald's hat—we don't have to say anything else about that because it's Bruce McDonald's hat. Duh.

Unfortunately, as with most things in life, like Highlander, there can only be one. So without further ado, may we present to you this year's Vanguard Mascot Winner:

*drumroll please*

Mads Mikkelsen's Moustache! 

AKA the Madstache.

Maybe you're all like, "Huh?" But don't deny it: in this picture of the chicken, you found yourself strangely drawn to the Madstache. It's the allure of the Madstache. The essence of the Madstache. The power of the Madstache. That's just what it does.

That and beat out cowboy hats and chickens and Joe Swanberg for coveted titles! Wham, bam, thank-you ma'am. And the children rejoiced.

That's a wrap for this year! We're already eagerly anticipating who—or what—will de-throne this glorious Madstache next year. It's gonna be good. Joe Swanberg, you have a year to grow a mustache that rivals the Madstache. God speed.

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