Saturday, September 19, 2015

Vanguard Mascot Battle Contender #3

Pew! Pew! Pew! Splosions! Wonder!

It's that time again. The time when the most coveted award in all of TIFF is up for the taking.

We are talking about, of course, Vanguard Mascot Battle, in which several people, insects, animals and even inanimate objects compete for the coveted title of Official Vanguard Blog Mascot.

Our final contender is going to have some rough competition with the chicken and Once and Future Vanguard Mascot Joe Swanberg.

The chicken has all the powers of a chicken and a pedigree traceable to the age of the dinosaurs. Joe Swanberg has all the powers of being a good sport and probably deserving better than being drawn into our Mascot Battle, but he probably doesn't know since he's directing/acting in/producing fifty movies simultaneously right this moment. But that doesn't detract from the might of our next contender...

Name: Iconic Director Bruce McDonald's Iconic Cowboy Hat.

Also Known As: Bruce McDonald's Cowboy Hat; "Man, what a sweet hat."

Description: Straw cowboy hat, well-worn, with a lot of character.

Strengths: Protecting from the sun's glare and other bright lights; Preventing sunburn on the scalp; Looking pretty sweet; Biding.

Weaknesses: Strong winds; Possibly moths or carpet beetles; Definitely goats; Being inanimate.

See how happy the cowboy hat makes Bruce McDonald? We could all be this happy.

Signature Moves: Setting; Being cocked; Reblocking; Going really well with a men's shirt with a floral design, especially if it's embroidered by one's pa.

Why Bruce McDonald's Cowboy Hat would make a good replacement Vanguard Blog mascot for the Giant Novelty Pencil from the Keswick Pencil Museum in Ben Wheatley's Sightseers:

Bruce McDonald's Cowboy hat is equally inanimate and yet has far greater stature than the Giant Novelty Pencil from the Keswikc Pencil Museum. It has a quiet dignity that we can all admire. It could easily contain the Midnight Madness blog's isopod and at least distract the chicken. The only real challenge to the hat is Joe Swanberg. Will Swanberg's acting skills allow him to successfully wear the hat--or will the cowboy hat seem to wear him?

The hat isn't in Bruce McDonald's Hellions, but you can feel its presence... 

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